1. I would like to add more sensory details so the reader can really see him. I don't have a sense of smell, so maybe I'll ask him or one of his friends what he smells like if there is an area that it seems to fit. I will add how he has light brown hair, hazel eyes, somehow so the reader can see him.
2. I will add more basic information in the intro paragraph and not scatter it throughout the paper.
3. I will try to make most of my paragraphs follow the P-I-E structure.
4. I will look at my quotes and make sure they are introduced properly.
5. I will make sure I cite my sources correctly, I realized the format was off.
6. I will add more rich vivid details.
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